I feel so Bad

Just agreed on a committment without reading the email in details..Sigh, I feel so bad cause I committed without consulting my husband! Sigh, how careless can I be. I hope he will forgive me and I pray that the opportunity will be given to sombody else....

I know this exposure will be excellent but if it is to affect my relationship..I will be really sad..and I won't do it.

Weekend?

Hi! Finished my thank you cards today! The weather starts to get nicer today..feels great. Nothing to do til Thursday...how I wish I could have flown home today! No plans for tomorrow, maybe I will go jogging tomorrow, Hm...how to pass IPPT?? Ops! Quite frightening haha...okay will go jogging everyday starting from tomorrow...hm...

Feeling Relax

Glad I'll be packing home next week at this time. Listening to Sammi Cheng's music, feeling at home. Looking forward to laksa, mee siam and chicken rice as well as my mee bok!!! Yummy! I don't hate the food here, in fact their mushroom and vegetables are terrific!

I can't help but say this again..feel so relieved to have a good pass for this course. I had done badly for a few tests, most probably because I did not truly understand the subject and only study the tip:P. Nevertheless I am very grateful.

I have nothing to do til next Friday..How I wish I could be home this Saturday! Nowhere to go heh, actually no money to spend liaoz..just paid GBP78 to air frieght my notes back. Have to even draw cash for that. Okay, will find something entertaining to do.

Did it!

Miraculously, I scrap pass with a First Class Pass!!!I feel so grateful to God...Think he had shown that seek Him first, all things will fall in place!

Very sad. But I will keep the faith..

Sigh, at last I have the courage to call up the course officer for my results. Sigh, it is a disaster, unless God wills it a miracle..or else I will never get my first class pass. I am really sad. No words can describe how I feel. Although I must say I have done my best, and there should be no excuses, why I never get First Class Pass. Nevertheless I still have God and my family members. I miss them a lot and look forward to going home. I miss Kok Sung alot too. These months must have been terrible for him too. Glad I am going home. Thank you for all the blessings.

The zebra crossing made famous by The Beatles!

Ay, shouldn't I be studying??

Hm...finished what I had planned out to do for the day. Although I am hoping I can push myself a little further, and revise abit of the Hull Test. Wonder if I can catch up with the grading..Sigh. Will definitely start some work tomorrow...

Presentation on Monday and the Last Test in HMS SULTAN on Wed

Do you hear that 14 days left! before I leave this wonderful place..But Home Sweet Home is what I look forward to! Don't really know what to say now, but just want to blog for the sake of blogging.....

Okay first of all, glad I did well for the Fuels exams, wah..didn't know that it is possible to get above 90marks. Just like to thank God that it is His will. As I was explaining in my previous blog, I do not need to top the class (actually this is impossible already), but to maintain a First Class pass overall, so that at least it will look good when the certificate is back in the management hands. I was relieved after finishing the Electrical Paper. I find electrical and electronics difficult, really hope to improve when I take my masters on these subjects. Looking forward to my masters classes. Hope that I will be able to take the tiring hours to do tutorials.

Tomorrow, need to do a few things, check out postal service, shop for thank you cards, more shopping for gifts and finally to find out about the rest of the guided walk around Gosport.

Feeling rather sleepy now, think I will go to bed sleepy.......

A few things on my mind

I was rather sad that KS removed the websites. I enjoyed visiting it especially looking over and over again at the hamsters. Sigh, guess he is angry with me for removing my own website:( .

Got our results back for the previous tests including Duty Watch. Very happy that I did well for Gas Turbine Test and Duty Watch. Have also found out that with my grades, it is possible to achieve First Class Pass if I get more than 75% for the remaining 3 tests.......This is because our project had pulled our grades real low..........Really hope that everything will work out fine in the end. Electrics seem unachieveable for more than 75% mark...Pray hard....

One more week of agony and a Monday

18 more dayS! Duty watch is finally over, all over. It had been the most interesting activity in HMS Sultan for me. Need to stay focus for the tests to come. Tried to study last nite, but was falling asleep, at 8pm I decided to go and sleep. This morning, manage to skim through all the long questions..Sigh, electrical revision is too much to study for 3 days. (in between there's another test:( )Totally unprepared. Today will try to finish revision for Fuels & Lubricants, hopefully it is not too difficult. All memory work, felt so helpless. I don't think I have done well for this course, hope that I am not the last afterall. Felt so bad, and a letdown of the organization. But I have definitely done my best, not like a robot but as an individual human being. I am no scholar afterall, just an average student. I believe my midshipman and NLOC results were not fantastic too......so they shouldn't be expecting too much right? Nevertheless, the course is coming to an end, I am glad to be going home.

3 more weeks!

Glad the weeks have been passing by so quickly. Can't wait to get home to be with family and friends again, can't wait to speak my own language, eat my favourite food......this trip had made me realise I really love Singapore alot. Maybe it is because of the ppl, but I definitely will not consider leaving Singapore now. I miss all the happenings in there, the weather, the malls, the man-made tourists' attraction........

Mid-Week!

Yay! I am so happy. In fact, feeling alittle guilty cause I have yet to start work on my HPAC! Feeling really tired emotionally and physically...sigh can't imagine SSD close up everyday, so siong.....Okay got to go back to the HPAC and auxillaries...

Why is it Me?

As I had mentioned before, this morning was the first time we did our duty watch. The whole team was delayed because of me. I was really upset. Sigh, why was I so slow? There were no obstacles at all. I am utterly disappointed with myself. How I wish I could be home now with family and friends.
Recieved my results for the last two tests, did pretty badly, bottomed for one of them. My sadness goes beyond the word itself, it is indescribable. I really hate academic work, I just hope
everything to end soon. I did not expect the course to be like this, I have mixture of feelings about this course now. I think it had also put a strain on my marriage. This is all because of me, I feel so inefficient and incapable. Definitely all things will improve with practice, I have done my best. Guess I just don't have the calibre to compare with others.
Feeling rather exhausted now, can't wait for everything to end, I just want to go back to Singapore.

Another 10 mins

Another 10 mins, I will be going down for breakfast at 6am. Today is the first day of Duty Watch, abit aprehensive as I have mentioned before but I hope this week pass by quickly especially my turn as MEOOW1. Just wished to get through everything and be back home. All the best for the team today!!

Need to Sleep Early!

I didn't really have a fruitful day. However, I did went through all the systems and marked down my doubts. I have to operate GT tomorrow, hope I will be fine, feeling abit excited but apprehensive..Hopefully all things turn out well. Goodnight!

A handphone hanging piece (handmade from Korea) from a friend broken into pieces.

Yay! All things end well

Last week had been quite a "hell" week mainly due to family matters. Thank God that all are back to normal and I am forgiven. Progress for the weekend was slow but steady. Managed to finish what I have set out to do, I am happy and glad that the week ended well. Wrote a few emails to "longtime no see" friends, hope they will reply soon. Kok Sung kept me company as usual, keeps talking about his linux hee, his latest is the yellow Gnome desktop. Not too bad, as the toolbar has a fadeoff effect. I still prefer the original Mac PopUp icons.

I should be meeting up with KH next weekend, looking forward to another theatre show and hopefully a Shakespeares theatres show too! The course is ending, and I am very excited to be on my way home!!

The day had ended

I was actually writing this blog halfway when my computer shuts itself off due to overtemperature. This is because I am lying on the bed with my laptop, the blanket had blocked up its ventilation

I was saying that time flies, it was 68 days when I first started this blog! and now it is alreay 28 days left! I really can't wait for the days here to end, not that I am suffering here or lonely. I just miss Singapore and especially my husband. Manage to do some work in the end, although it is little, considering I have the whole day of doing it. They are having Summer Ball now, none of my coursemates went..so no point for me to join the Summer Ball too. And of course my strategy works, not bringing any decent wear for a ball...haha. Sleepy, hope tomorrow can be a fruitful day. Miss everybody at home!!!

It is already 430pm

It is confirmed my inertia is more than 8x..sigh..these books had been lying in front of me since 7am in the morning!! And I still have not touched abit on it:( chatted with KS and surfed net..just came back from the provision shop, bought some factory made crossiant (taste horrible) and fruitcake. It is really a sad thing that their bakery is not everywhere.....unlike Singapore housing estates. The nearest bakery I have here is at least 30 mins walk from my camp. So troublesome. Okay will try to do some work while drinking my coffee!!

Everyone's Away

Okay, got all my books necessary for the day....but that inertia of starting is really, most probably higher than the 8x starting current for AC Motor. The past week was only fulfilling on three days..cause the first 3 days was before a test. The last two days was busy but inefficient as I was struggling with the 3-D drawings...Sigh... The Kiwis had gone for their U2 concert, they must be having a lovely time, not too sure about Tom, but most probably he will just go bar for a drink and stay back in his cabin for the weekend. He is rather hardworking and efficient. I try to be hardworking, but always end up building castles in the air.....nevertheless I will do my best and be disciplined. I was so silly the other day writing a letter to my auntie, "accusing" her of trying to shift responsibilities to father and I. Sigh..as my cousin had said, I am really mean.
I have got news(rumours whatever) that I will be posted onboard ship afterall....Find it challenging and exciting but apprehensive of the future that lies ahead. If the first female MEO can do it, why can't I? Winnie was right, a leader got to be confident in order to lead the engine department. Frankly speaking, I see MEO vocation as a responsibility funciton..i.e if any happens, there's only one person to answer for, MEO. But as a professional engineering department, teamwork is still the utmost important, cause each of us has a specific area whereby we are master of the system. Even chief engineers may not be fully knowledgeable in the systems which the lads are working on it everyday. Memory slips..of course their vast experiences will still be invaluable and impressive. Lots of things to learn from them.
This weekend, hope to chat with Kok Sung, read my books and do some preparations for the duty watch...Didn't manage to do any last week..Sigh..luckily there's still Monday to catch up with. Okay, I will try to be happier and put my faith in GOd for the rest of the course. Will do my best, just wish to be home safe and sound, most importantly happy. Everyone's Away cause nobody's online to keep me company:-)

Things should be fine

After the whole episode of just a mere S$4k, I have finally felt that I get my points through. Glad that Shiran, was back at home trying to get the "illegal" loan back. Sigh, no money how to help ppl...I can only help within my means, and do my part for the contribution. I am still stuck with the 3K loan..Sigh..I find it such a waste of money.

Going to start my day in the office at least for an hour and then the duty watch after teabreak before coming back to my cabin. Hope to start studying soon (although always can't do that) tonite cause not much time next week due to project submission. And there'll be 3 tests consecutively on the following week. By the way, steering test turns out to be fine..just hope that I won't do too badly..getting really pessismistic nowadays..Sigh...

Hey my new duvet and Bedsheets!! BLUE!!

Good Beginning

Not too bad! Had a good day, fulfilled all tasks that I had wanted to do. Besides the usual workday, I am truly satisfied with everything! I had even managed to do revision for my test, which is really precious:P.Wrote emails and even update my webpage with a new song and quote. Feeling rather sleepy, the bed is superb today!!! They just changed to a duvet with blue bedsheets! Love blue! Tha Okay think I will go and sleep very sleepy..

Six Questions

Suddenly feel that I have changed quite abit to my old self since I am here. Must be missing Kok Sung, that's the reason. He had made me a more confident person, able to recognise and work on my weekness and improve on my strong points. He is truely God's given gift to me. I shouldn't work back but look forward.

Did nothing much again, but at least manage 6 questions from the notes. Definitely not sufficient. Had been chatting with my sis and cousin about sinchong. Hopefully my parents turn out well and May God bless them with a blissful marriage. I wonder if my mum had been listening to the CD I had bought her, hope she will find faith in Christ. I should attempt to bring her to church one of these days...afterall, even her parents had turned to Christ. There is so much love in christianity, I can't see why ppl can believe other Gods....Nevertheless we shall all continue to pray! I had talked to an old man doing his watering of flowers, very nice flowers indeed..he said,"it is more fruitful planting flowers than drinking in the bar"...Hm...maybe being on the binge is just the youngsters style. I am glad I did not join them.

Kok Sung's webpage is great! He had got almost all the typical functions of a website working in his website, mine is still the primitive ones haha..Dial up is not exactly a great tool to learn online. Okay, I will try to get more work done, it is going to be a busy week ahead.

Feeling Too Hungry to Sleep

Actually it is too early to sleep, only 9pm. I have decided to go running tomorrow. Went through my trip report, heart stopped for a second when I realised I need to fill in the results page. Sigh, miss Singapore so badly, wish I could fly back now. Wishing for the days I could see my house and my husband, my parents and my grandfather. Miss them all. and yes my hamsters too! Heard they don't take other food besides their branded feed and fruits. Hm..at least they are having their favourites in Singapore. I couldn't even afford my regular favourites in UK. Everything are expensive. I need to save up to pay for my school fees and lumpsum payment of my flat as well as my LASIK treatment. Need at least 10K for everything. The course allowance not enough to cover my trip here, mostly because I do not go down for dinners. I have been spending my own money, stretching abit of those to provide some entertainment for myself. Sigh, how I wish to be back home lying on my bed with my beautiful covers. Miss my home.

PS:Taken two biscuits, hopefully sleep by 930pm.

I wish him well

Kok Sung had been really nice to me since he left UK back to Singapore. He had been staying up late just to chat with me after my classes. Really glad to have married him, I find that he is a blessing from God. Think I will write an email to my mum to give him tonic drinks to stay "cool" throughout these late nights. He had been very ill, and the last thing I want to see is for him to suffer again. I wish I will be more considerate and let him sleep early......

Just Another Weekend

Yay!! 5 more weeks to go! Okay wrap up for the weeks to come. I must have mentioned it before, there'll be one test next week and a Big one that last for the whole of the following week (Duty Watch). Nothing much to revise til we get our tips cause there's nothing much in the book too! Read the formal instructions of the Duty watch but nothing much I can do without the machineries in my room..haha.. In between the weeks, need to prepare for Project Submission. Grr..everything can't be done til I get to the office.

Not much accomplished, just more website browsing and blogging! Count my cash in hand, not enough thus decided to stay in cabin. Time flies and it is already 5pm. I had taken all my meals consisting biscuits, maggi, cheese, bread, coffee and tea.

I have been thinking of LASIK for a long time. Over the weekend I had booked for an appointment with a Doctor in SNEC. Hopefully all will work out fine and I pray that I can get almost perfect eyesight at the end of the day. Going to look at my trip report and start collecting information on the paper. So many things on my mind. Need to sort them out!

Third Blog and the last for the Day

Okay, it is my third. Feeling depress today, in the end, Kok Sung accompanied me online til 2am on his side. I am feeling much better now. It is only 8 pm, and I am feeling all the symptoms of sleepiness. Tomorrow will strive to do something productive with KS.....Have a great weekend! 35 more days to go!!!Yay!

Nice to hear from my Mum

I am kind of touched when my mum called. It has been nearly 1.5 months since I last called back home. Although I miss home, but I didn't want to call back, no particular reason. Happy to hear from her, I guess Mum is really the Best in the world, always bring comfort. (well at least for most of them). The inertia to go back to the books is really huge, still could not bring myself to study. Most probably because I am anxious to get back to life back in Singapore. Will life be the same? I don't know, as long as I have a home to go back. I will be happy enough. At least there'll be a broadband waiting for me. and yes the TV set too.

Classes today were terrible, nothing get into my head. Tom is good, he was still listening and absorbing, so was Scott, maybe that explains why the both of them always do so well. They are focus in what they are doing. PT today was OTOT, I did a 1.6km jog on the treadmill, cause I did not want to set up the badminton court.

Planned to do abit of work today, but til now at 4pm, I have still achieved nothing.

Feeling Better?

Another two sessions of Physical Training (PT), and the day will end. Still feeling the inertia, really don't want to do anything after the working hours. Maybe Raymond is right afterall, on course (studying) is actually worse than working. This is because after work, you can do other things. This course had been good but it comes with many things too. Mainly the fact that I miss the familiar grounds too, and the company of my own kind of ppl. Yesterday the Canadians had their Canada Day. Must be quite a bash, invited, but I didn't go. Just wanna have my own time after work.

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