Another Day at Home

Woke up at 3am today, and couldn't fall asleep again. As usual I disturbed Kok Sung in his sleep as I was too lonely in the middle of the night. The side of my tummy feel strained and no position was comfortable enough for me to sleep again. Baby was very happy that I was awake, kicking became stronger and more frequent, adding to my woes of not able to fall into dreamland again. Finally I got up and drank a cup of milk, surf the net again..and time passed by..It was 6 am before I could fall asleep. When Kok Sung woke up to get ready for work, I feel ill and listless. I decided to take urgent leave and rest since my body wasn't feeling too good from the coughing and sneezing. Fortunately, I have an understanding boss, but don't know what he will think of me, I just want to stop thinking about the consequences.
I do feel bad about taking urgent leave because of not getting enough sleep, seems to be a lame reason. But I do feel very tired. Maybe work was not attractive too, nowadays I do dread going to work although I keep reminding myself to stay positive. Sigh...I still firmly think the job is not for me anymore since a baby coming my way. Another 2 years to serve before my bond is over. What a long time.....what should I do next? So many uncertainties, only God will know.
Took a picture of the skyline that looks really gloomy from my house balcony, making the day more depressing. Feeling guilty, I decided to see go to the 24hr clinic at KKH, after 15 mins of waiting for an available taxi, I was forced to drive my car there,paid for the S$4 valet parking before I was told by the nurse that they will need to send me to the labour ward as they do full body (including my baby) checkup for more than 20 weeks pregnant women (I am already 30 weeks). Labour ward is very expensive......at least S$50 more than the usual consultation. I decided to turn back and drive myself home.........feeling rather drained emotionally. Sigh, never realised how pregnancy could affect me, but I like kids maybe it is the work that I am not happy about? Only God will know, I don't know why I am always so confused.